Amaryllis

I’m a writer, and yet all too often I get caught up in waiting for the perfect thing to write about before I write anything. Waiting for perfection before I begin. Waiting for all of the conditions to be right. This quote I read last week said “how you do anything is usually how you do everything”. Is this true? Is this true about me? In my mind, I’m the last person that would get caught up waiting for perfection, but is it possible that I do?

And is it really that I want it to be perfect or am I just using that as an excuse because what I’m really dealing with is fear? That’s more probable. Knowing me, I feel certain the fear has more to do with success than with failure. Failure I have down-pat. I can do failure all day long. Success, however, is a whole ‘nother Oprah.

My mom gave me an Amaryllis before Christmas. It bloomed right around Christmas and it was beautiful. It came in this really gorgeous thick glass square vase. On Thursday, I noticed that the bloom had died and I thought to myself that it was probably time to cut that stalk down. The dead bloom was looking pretty ragged. I have Gerbera daisies in my flower bed and when these bloom and then die, I cut them down and others grow up in their place. That’s what Gerbera daisies do. I assumed all flowers operate this way. I got sidetracked, though, and busy, and went on about my business without touching it.

We went out of town this weekend for Livia’s volleyball tournament and got home very late Saturday night. I got up late the next morning and it was early afternoon before I sat down in the living room. The vase with the Amaryllis is on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. To my amazement, the stalk I thought was dead had this huge, gorgeous bloom and the other two stalks that had been little short stubby things had shot up 6-8 inches each, both looking like they’ll bloom within days.

It occurred to me there was a life lesson in there, somewhere.

I think it’s all about giving up. Dead is dead, to be sure, but I know less than nothing about flowers in general and even less about Amaryllis, specifically. And yet, without knowing for sure and without being willing to even try to find out, I was willing to assume that this flower was like other flowers, write it off for dead, cut it down and move on with my day. If I had done that, I would have missed the beautiful bloom that I have now, and at least two more that appear to be on their way. I had experienced one bloom and it was beautiful and I was ready to stop there, before I even knew whether or not it was possible that more could be on their way.

If it’s true that how I do anything is how I do everything, what else am I shorting myself on? How many other “blooms” am I cutting off before they have a chance to happen? Scary thought. I pray for God’s blessings in my life, I believe with all my heart that He wants to bless me, but am I letting it happen? Am I cutting down my own stalk before I have a chance to bloom? I suspect this may be true, at least to some extent.

I suspect it may be true that I have lived in survival mode for so long that my tendency is to stop believing and hoping and praying once I’ve received just enough to live on. Even though I desire to live in abundance mode, and I strive to live in abundance mode, survival mode may be stronger than I had thought. I didn’t know enough about the Amaryllis to accurately judge whether it was dead or not and I was willing to cut it down before it reached it’s full potential. Am I really sure that I’ve done enough work and research and gotten all of the information and tried everything there was to try before I give up on an opportunity in my life? Eek.

God speaks about perseverance all throughout the Bible. He is very clear on the fact that He does not want us to give up, most especially when we are doing His work and working within His purpose for our lives. Galatians 6:9 says, “So let us not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” A harvest of blessing. Not just one blessing. A harvest of them. Think about a field of corn. A harvest of corn is the entire field, everything. Not just one ear or even one stalk. At just the right time. Not our time, but God’s perfect timing. So what we know is that, at the perfect moment, everything will be given to us. How do we know when the perfect moment is? We don’t. But if we don’t give up, we’ll get there. If we quit before the perfect moment happens, how will we ever receive the harvest?

In addiction recovery, there is a saying. “Don’t give up before the miracle happens.” Life can change in a nano-second. What if the miracle, harvest of blessing, everything good in the whole world, etc., is right around the corner? Can you see that in your mind? It’s happened to everybody. You are walking down the street and around the corner comes somebody that bumps smack into you. You didn’t know they were there, but there they were anyway. Your knowledge of them was irrelevant to their existence.

Isn’t it possible that a harvest of blessing could be right around the corner as well? Who will run smack into your harvest of blessing if we turn off too soon?

I commit today to make sure that I have done all the work, all the research, left no stone unturned, exhausted every avenue, before I cut down anymore stalks. I pray, Lord, that you will make it clear to me when to keep walking on the path and when to turn off. I promise to listen for your voice on my heart in everything so that I will always be living the life that you will bless with a harvest of blessing. Thank you, Lord, for revealing yourself and your truth to me in such simple, delightful ways, so that I may clearly understand. Thank you for the Amaryllis, Lord, and all of the beauty that you have created. I promise to treat your works and wonders, including myself among them, with more care. Amen.